I'm your #1 fan

I can’t take it any more. I can no longer sit in silence and be endlessly bombarded by the baseless, factually incorrect drivel coming from these deluded Mac fanboys. This pathetic article has finally put me over the edge.

I’m not here to pick a fight over whether PC is better than Mac. I own one of each and have raves and complaints about both. And the big secret no one’s telling you is that to the generic user, there’s really not much of a difference. The internet looks the same on both screens.

No, my problem stems from the embarrassing ‘turf war’ that Apple users feel the need to constantly start with…well anyone.

I’ve never understood this little dog syndrome. A diehard Mac fan will always feel the need to impress on you why Mac’s are fantastic, and why your PC is a giant fire hazard, waiting to usher you and your family to a painful death. Bill Gates is an evil capitalist monster who is hell bent on world domination, while Apple is a hippie commune powered by hugs and rainbows.

What other product instills this same cult-like status in its users? You might get a similar pissing contest between Xbox and Playstation buyers, but it's not the same. I'm beginning to think there’s an untraced link between Apple Corps. and the Church of Scientology.

You don’t just buy an Apple, you become a pod person who must spread the gospel of Mac by telling everyone how you used to own a PC and your life sucked, but then you got an Apple and everything worked out. You've answered the call and are fighting against the evil Microsoft – you’re suddenly the home computing equivalent of Che-fucking-Guevara.

You don’t see Pepsi drinkers stabbing guys with Coke because of their soft drink choice. And yet I guarantee you’ve been at a party where some Apple fanboy has explained that Macs are the “industry standard” for everything from photography to family lineage and you're just not quite as enlightened.

Again – it’s not the Mac I hate, it’s their fans - which in itself is hilarious. I mean, I don't begrudge someone for supporting a company - but the idea of electronics fandom baffles me. I'm trying to imagine being really excited about one companies alarm clock over another, and I just don't get it.

Maybe my Mac was defective when I bought it. Or maybe I've been too skeptical for the "magic" to take effect. But in the end, they're just computers that are only as interesting or useful as the person sitting in front of them.