There’s something to be said about the American’s Republic style of politics, especially in light of Stephen Harper announcing his cabinet today.
In our parliamentary system, he’s forced to choose a cabinet from the elected officials in his party – as chosen by us – the Canadian people. And in the theory this model holds water. The people we elect are supposed to be the brightest and most qualified for the job…in THEORY.
But when this idea was being hashed out hundreds of years ago, I’m pretty sure they didn’t envision Stockwell Day as the minister of…well of anything, except maybe crayons or safety scissors.
So during an international economic crisis – the worst in 80 years – we’ve appointed the Canadian equivalent of Dan Quayle or Sarah Palin to ensure our country doesn’t slide further into peril. Did I miss something or is being a closet racist and pro-Bush evangelical somehow a prerequisite for sound economic governance?
But wait – there’s more! Tony Clement as the Minister of Industry. And why you might ask? Because after two years as Health Minister, he was bored and wanted a new challenge! Wait - what? Did he already fix the whole wait time thing? Did we get an influx of new doctors so that everyone now has a family practitioner?
After two years on the job, Milhouse from the Simpson’s has decided he wants something a tad more challenging and so is gifted the Industry portfolio, during an economic crisis.
seperated at birth?
The list goes on and on – John Baird the angriest man in parliament, as Transport Minister. Jason Kenney heading up Immigration after claiming Canada should use certain forms of discrimination when screening immigrants. Lisa Raitt as Minister of Natural Resources after a disastrous stint as the head of the Toronto Port Authority, thanks to our good friends in the 905 (like people didn’t already hate Oakville).
But such is the case when you have such a thin crop to choose from. And while this is reason enough to heap scorn on the whole process, there’s also the use of cabinet shuffle as punishment. When one of the above ministers causes some level of controversy or screws up their portfolio (and they will), Harper will fix it all by “shuffling” his cabinet.
It’s nice to know that governing in this country is so arbitrary, that on a moments notice anyone (probably you or I) can pick up where someone else left off with no trouble at all.
Next year either Obama or McCain (but mostly Obama) will sit down to pick his cabinet and isn’t handcuffed by the same restrictions Harper is. When he appoints someone to run the country's finances, he can choose from any of the finest minds in the country.
Meanwhile, we get this enormous douche-bag as Finance Minister – as if he hadn’t already done enough damage.
Who needs a drink?
I have zero interest in ever going to Australia. Sure it's beautiful and warm and I'm told the people are friendly. However I can give you about 10 reasons why I never want to go - all of them are snakes and spiders.
Check out this photograph of a spider eating a bird - a bird the size of a god-damn BABY! There's no reason this hellspawn should be alive other than to torment us in our nightmares! I would like to point out that this was someone's backyard.
It becomes evident to me that whoever chose Australia as a penal colony clearly did their homework.
More on this killing machine here
After the rather distinct political leaning this blog has taken in the last few months it would seem only fitting that I ring in now and comment – post election – on Tuesday results. But while I do love politics – probably in the same way little girls love High School Musical – I was left deflated Wednesday morning. Not because the Conservative “win” was some great surprise, but because I felt pretty unaffected by the whole affair.
This probably has a lot to do with the fact that of the four leaders (five if you include Duceppe) there wasn’t anyone to truly “get behind” or believe in. Just pre-fab shells whose mouths seemed to spit out the same tired and regurgitated slogans.
And while I don’t think it’s a valid excuse not to vote, no one can argue that the lowest voter turnout in Canadian history has a lot to do with the fact that none of the running candidates really engaged the voting public.
Harper sequestered himself on the final days of the campaign because he’s like nuclear waste – long term exposure makes people sick. The terrifying part is that he and his campaign knew this - hiding him was part of their strategy.
Dion continued to rattle on about unclear (to us) initiatives that just confused an already apathetic voter base. For so many people, voting Liberal was a routine as getting an oil change. Yet, somehow Dion made even that seem unpalatable, and helped lose his party 19 seats.
Jack Layton would put all his supporters behind him during stump speeches to give the illusion of larger and more raucous crowds on TV. When in reality 50 people stood staring at his hind-parts while 10 stood in front with the cameras.
And so on and so on.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of the US presidential race right now. Envious of some of that pomp and circumstance. Envious of the charismatic leader they’ll soon have (yup – that Sarah Palin is great…lipstick on a pitbull – it’s funny on so many levels).
Truth is when it came down to it, I found this whole Canadian election pretty underwhelming – and that seems kind of sad. Shouldn’t we be excited at the chance to pick our government – shouldn’t they spark something in us and make us want to vote?
Feels like lately, we’ve been forced to choose the least offensive person on the ballot instead of the most qualified.
I recently overhead a colleague waxing about how well she thought Elizabeth May has faired in this election. It's certainly a lovely sentiment, albeit a completely inaccurate one – but you all saw that coming I’m sure.
First, you have this string of nifty little campaign ads with May on the train and talking about issues like the Economy and Nature. There’s even one about Grassroots Democracy in which she claims that all the other parties have lost track of what elections are about and how they’re too focused on packaging instead of message.
While I tend to agree with her, I find it a tad hypocritical for someone to talk about “grassroots” elections and then turn around and say she doesn’t care if her party gets any seats, as long as Stephen Harper doesn’t get any.
Now I’m no friend to Harper – I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear in this spot (I have, haven’t I?), but if you’re big plan is to keep Harper out then why not join another political party to push your message? If your sole aim is to keep the Conservatives from winning – as she fairly implied that it was – then just pack up your campaign and back Jack Layton or Stephane Dion.
Second is her riding of choice, Nova Central, which has brought us the father/son team of Elmer and Peter MacKay. This has been a staunchly Conservative riding going back to 1968, straying only once in 1993 and electing a Liberal. Oh, and did I mention that Nova Central was Brian Mulroney’s riding right before he became Prime Minister?
Eliabeth May could have easily parachuted herself into a riding that would have been more favourable to her message, but she chose Nova Central because it’s where she was raised.
Now for those you think parachuting is an unethical or disingenuous way to get yourself a seat in the House of Commons, I say so what? You can either be a morally sound person on the outside looking in, or you can find favour with those who genuinely support you and make some changes from your seat in the House of Commons.
Besides, this altruistic streak of running against adversity contradicts her previous statement of “Anyone but Harper."
None of this should be seen as knock on the Green party – I think they have some great ideas and our entire parliamentary system is built on the idea of multiple parties. If nothing else it makes for some diverse and pretty lawn signs. But when the NDP are actually making a climb for the first time in years, and when the Liberals are a mere 5% behind the Conservatives, suddenly that 13% of voters that the Green party is hanging on to seems very valuable.
Almost enough to get rid of the Harper-bot once and for all!
