To Clever By Half

As someone with an interest in politics the current Democratic race in the US offers up some good old timey drama. American politics has always been a little flashier and sexier then it’s Canadian brethren. This is mostly because Canadian politicians tend to talk about really boring things like policies and governance. They don’t touch on fundamental issues like who can answer a phone at 3 a.m. and who has the crazier pastor.

As so often happens south of our border, Americans miss the point. Sure their political races are much more enticing but usually for all the wrong reasons. So it shouldn’t come as any great surprise that story after story keeps harping on the same stupid thing: Barack Obama just doesn’t relate to the everyday man.

He’s too hoity-toity and too upper-class to comprehend people from the country’s heartland. Obama just isn’t the “common man.”

Well to put it bluntly, thank fuck for that.

You’re electing the leader of a nation not class president; by rights he should be smarter, more capable and generally superior to you in every way (like the $6 Million Man without the sound effects). And after eight years, while I’m sure a lot of Americans might think otherwise, the leader of any nation should be the most intelligent person in the room. In fact he should make the “common man” look like a mouth breathing sloth in a wife-beater and trucker hat.

Okay so apologies to all…the man is smart, but what else is wrong with him? He’s got money…he’s affluent? You mean he doesn’t blow all his money at the Casino? He doesn’t consider the lottery a legitimate retirement savings plan? What a douche! I mean God forbid you have someone with some financial savvy taking the reigns of one of the world’s super-powers.

Once you sift through the B.S. on this, it basically reads like Middle America feels threatened that an extremely smart, well educated man will be watching over them. They don’t trust him and don’t think he’ll have their best interests at heart when he makes major executive decisions.

The idea is pretty ridiculous, but why do Clinton and McCain instil such confidence? What is it about these two that somehow has people believing they would sit and have a beer with them? Hilary looks as wooden and stern as a history teacher – like someone’s mom trying way too hard to seem cool by using phrases like “jiggy.”

And McCain is about as “everyman” and “common” as someone worth $40 million can be.

I don’t think it’s a secret that to be president you need two basic things: money and smarts – unless you’re a Republican, then you just need Dick Cheney. Thankfully Obama has both and also has something lacking from so many modern politicians – charisma.

And yet because he writes his own speeches, is eloquent and uses big words, there’s a chance he may lose his bid to be the next US president. All because a portion of the US thinks Obama doesn’t understand your basic, God-fearing American. But trust me, he understands them, only too well…and after the last eight years watching a functionally retarded President, so does the rest of world.