Also, I needed a reason to put pants on and stop playing Grand Theft Auto for a few hours and the promise of rubbing shoulders with the elite hipster crowd was enough motivation for me. And God knows if there was ever a bastion for the uber-cool it's Kensington.
A strange bunch these hipsters, what with their irony and tight pants. They're not defined by a style of music or even a trend in clothing but more by their complete dismissal for everything you like and think is cool. They are an enigma wrapped in a riddle - except they hate riddles and think enigmas are super-lame. They're into bands you've never heard of, and – usually because they're complete shit – never will hear about. Everything they do is based around irony, but with an over-arching air of apathy and superiority. Basically they try really, really hard to seem like everything they do is effortless and end up coming across as total dickweeds.
Now I'm often described as "opinionated" and "disagreeable" by a small, minority of people, but if I hate something you like it's probably because it's stupid. Meanwhile, a hipster hates something you like purely because you like it – hate is their natural posture.
Also, any trend that you now partake in or came in contact with – they started. Like the second-hand thrift store t-shirt fad from a few years ago? Well man, they got there first and their t-shirt was funnier and more ironic than yours.
I'm actually wondering at what point this latest round of Walmart brand ironic tees will become so painfully uncool to hipsters that they'll actually be considered cool again. My God – that's more irony than anyone can stand. I fear the world would simply collapse in on itself leaving an over sized scarf and bits of beard where a hipster once stood.
I also wonder how one becomes a hipster. Like Fight Club, it seems like the first rule is – you do not talk about being a hipster. In fact, if you asked them, they would even tell you they hate hipsters. But overall I think my favourite thing about them is how much work they put into their identities. Frankly, you almost have to commend them, because being that smug is a 24 hour job.
When they're not searching blogs and websites for the next trend (don't bother looking for these sites, you've never heard of them…only hipsters have), they're researching bands and haircuts and finding ways to make themselves look as disheveled and unkempt as possible. Because more than anything, they want you to believe that everything they do takes no effort.
The truth is, that mullet was no happy accident...it was groomed and honed to perfection. And the stinky looking dude with the mustache? He didn't just wake up with that on his lip - he's been developing it for a while.
The point being that they work doubly hard to look like they gave their entire persona no thought...which is kind of ironic...don't you think?
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