What's that burning smell?

It’s no secret that I’m a relatively massive Toronto Maple Leafs fan. But I can assure you I never had designs on using this spot as a soap box to wax on and on about how great “my” team is and how bad other teams and their fans are. I certainly didn’t envision this blog as grounds to inform everyone what complete and absolute turds Montreal Canadiens fans are. But then this happened.

Let me see if I can wrap the old cranium around this one – try and break down this complicated and tumultuous situation.

Montreal wins their first round series by beating Boston in the seventh game (for those of you that don’t follow the game, there are 3 more series before any big trophies get handed out). Their fans - so elated and overjoyed with the outcome - proceed to burn down half of the city in celebration. Oh well – never really liked the town of Boston anyway.

Wait – what’s that you say? They were playing in Montreal? They burned and looted their own town? That doesn’t make any sense.

Or does it?

It does if you factor in one rather large cause – Montreal Canadiens fans are enormous douche bags of near epic proportions.

Now, to be fair, this sweeping generalization doesn’t apply to everyone (namely my father-in-law…Go-Habs-Go eh?). God knows there are cringe-worthy Leaf fans that inspire me to become a Blue Jays follower (just kidding). But Canadiens supporters elevate asshole fandom to new and despicable levels.

Take for instance their treatment of Habs captain Saku Koivu. A recent cancer survivor, Koivu turned in a rather heroic battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma back in 2000 - 01. He’s bled for the team and led them through both good and bad years and as the captain is a lightning rod should the team fail. So taking criticism from fans and the media is part of the job….except when you rag on the guy because he doesn’t speak French.

That’s right – separatists railed against Canadiens players – Kiovu specifically – because they don’t speak the official language of the province. I’m sorry – I was toiling under the impression that these were professional athletes and not members of the provincial parliament – je suis the asshole apparently.

This is a small taste of the ‘loyalty’ Habs fans show for their team. They will cheer on their heroes until their voices are hoarse – but will turn on them faster than Corey Feldman turned on Corey Haim.

This brings us to Monday’s high jinks. Now as a one off that sort of thing can be chalked up to a small group who got out-of-hand – and by out-of-hand I mean burned up 16 police cars 10 businesses. But this is a town that ranks riots just below poutine and right above sketchy facial hair. You only need to go back to 1993 when – after their team won the Stanley Cup – Habs fans celebrated by burning major portions of their city down. At least that time they waited until they had won something significant before they indulged their pyro fetishes.

Is it just me or is rioting after winning a sporting event akin to wrapping up your wedding ceremony by repeatedly punching our new spouse in the face? It makes about as much sense as a recovering alcoholic rewarding sobriety with binge drinking.

I love the city of Montreal -truly. Its got some of the greatest shops, restaurants and sites to be found anywhere in this country. I got my first tattoo there and also got engaged there. So I implore you Canadiens fans – stop trying to burn it down.