My friend went to Ireland...and all I got was this crummy rant

I have returned from the Emerald Isle with gifts, pictures and a significantly lighter wallet.

I thought a lot about what I’d be posting when I got home and frankly I kept coming back to this – Europe is better than North America.

I’m sure on a number of levels we out-do them. I noticed they don’t have cookie cutter strip malls everywhere like we do. Which means you’re not guaranteed a Boston Pizza every fourth highway exit. But things that really matter – as a society we should be embarrassed.

Where to even begin? How about the efficient, clean and inexpensive public transit.

A friend joked with me that visiting Northern Ireland was like traveling back in time 20 years (a self-deprecating remark about their slow travels toward civil unity). But on this issue I had to disagree with him. The buses were clean and new and they arrived…on time. The trains were fast and inviting and they didn’t charge you $200 for a 2 hour round trip.

The minute I stepped on to the lush double-decker bus that would shuttle us into Belfast city centre I immediately pictured the smelly, rumbling, exhaust-spewing mess that pass for TTC streetcars. Envisioning their 70’s faux wood-panel interior and stained red seats I suddenly felt shame. Such deep shame.

But the truly astonishing part was that they were on time – all the time. If the schedule read 4:06 – then damn-it the bus came at 4:06. Every time I’ve taken the TTC in the past few months it’s been late – ranging from 5 to 20 minutes.

Oh, and you don't need exact change, the bus driver will make change from a $20 right there on the spot...imagine that on the Queen St. car at 5:00 pm...holy shit it would a riot.

I don’t necessarily have the answers to why the TTC, GO and Via are all so poorly run, but the bright minds at the top need to examine these working models a little closer.

What else…oh I know! Borders.

Why is it that while driving between Northern Ireland and the Republic – two separate countries, there wasn’t even so much as a road sign to signal our move from one country to the next? The only telling factor was that the speed limits are posted in km instead of mph.

You can travel through 4 different European countries and never be asked for a passport. Yet I can’t drive an hour to Buffalo and shop at Target without three forms of ID, personal references and a cavity search? Seriously!

I know this gets said a lot – but honestly…fuck you America. Get over yourself.

I won’t even touch on the vacation topic, except to say that they look at us like slave labourers – what with our 2 and 3 weeks of holidays.

While I appreciate that land-mass and infrastructure plays a large part in why our two continents operate differently, I would suggest that we could learn a lot from how European countries do things. We could be more efficient, more communal and get better vacation time if we would just learn from our European neighbours.

PS – I hate this blog’s layout – expect it to change soon. Gay cowboys have more masculine looking blogs than this.